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In the spirit of contemplating about dating, I checked my dating site queue. I had two pages of potential matches. Needless to say my curiosity was killing me so I perused the list. The conclusion I came to was there was a reason why Internet dating sites were making a cool mint. It's so much easier than going to your local meat market!
After reading through them, I realized that I had become discerning. Several years ago, I would've given some a chance that I wouldn't now. Not because I'm better or anything like that, but because I know now what I will or will not accept.
Going through the list was entertaining to say the least. My preference body-wise is someone taller than me as I'm 5'6. So anything 6'1 and over catches my eye. Mind you - I do not know what any of the men look like - yet. I'm still considering whether to pay for a subscription - or to even date - for that matter. My other preferences are someone who is successful and loves what they do, is sharp, intelligent, funny, and creative - oh and of course, someone who can genuinely accept my children. Wow. Tall order.
Here are some standouts:
*Names have been changed.
- Art, 47 - "My best friend was Bob since my dad drank alot when I was a kid."
Okay, we've got potential genetic issues here. Nope.
- Joe, Mike, John - All 5'6-5'8
If you and I look like a salt and pepper set standing next to each other then nope.
No offense but he's probably from a sect looking to add another sister wife. Nope.
Okay, "artist" is code word for unemployed until I sell a piece of art. Sorry, nope.
- Jay - "I like a clean house."
That means you want me to clean it for you. I was hoping to have some help. Sorry, nope.
- Dann - "Athletic Trainer"
This means I have to be physically fit NOW and forever. Almost there but sorry, nope.
- William - "The person I'm with needs to feel they've won the lotto.."
Ruh roh Raggy, this person needs constant external validation. Sorry...resounding "Nope."
There are some that sound promising:
- Marco - "The three things I value most... 'My beautiful family and friends.. Earning income to provide for my family.'"
What? - He thinks his family and friends are beautiful and he has a yob?! He goes on to say that he maintains an organized life. "Organized" is code word for control freak. There may be a balance to him, we'd have to see.
- Frank - "I'm a mess without my car, bike, or plane."
Did he say "plane?" See - and watch this Gentleman - it's not because he owns a plane that is attractive, it's because he had the focus and determination to get to the point where he could buy a plane. Imagine where he could take the right partner or where the right partner could take him. Is that partner me? Oh I can't answer for him, but every girl likes to say yes :-)
- William - "The most influential person is..'Sister. She has taught me countless lessons over time...'"
This guy has alot of spark and heart that comes through what he writes. However, this statement tells me a TON of things. His sister is a big factor in his life. If she doesn't like someone, I'm willing to bet it becomes a sticky situation for all parties involved. I don't know how much a sister would accept or like a single mother of two children for her amazing brother, but people can be surprising. Let's hope for the best for whomever he's with.
So that is my foray into the dating scene while I'm contemplating about dating. Being alone for a year sounds very relaxing but I know that it can sometimes get lonely too.
For those of you considering dating again and considering online dating, here's a list of some well known sites:
Best wishes.
I've been contemplating getting back into the dating scene. I don't want a relationship, just a few dates here and there. So I sign up with a "respected" dating site because let's face it - this mother of two won't be trawling bars anytime soon. The pomp and circumstance alone in getting ready causes me to seek the comfort of some cozy socks and a book - stat!
So I took the quiz and much to my relief, my profile is different from when I filled it out five years ago. Whew. It means I'm changing, growing. This is significant. It shows I've actually learned and taken in what's been shown to me. My "teachers" will be glad to know. However, they'll also be horrified that I've considered dating again. While my matches are quite impressive - CTOs with airplanes - I may sit this round out. I'm thinking of not dating or having a relationship for one year. That's right - uno ano, eine jahr. We'll see. I'm only human. But I'm also a mom.. I can do anything I set my mind to.
When I broke it off with my husband, I was very happy in the ensuing weeks to be FREE of him. No more arguing, no more stress, no more heartbreak, no more endless wondering if things would turn out alright. I was alone now and in charge of Me - I could trust Me, I could rely on Me - and I was floating on air. It's now been a little over a month and it seems the air in my freedom balloon is slowly decreasing. I'm almost face to face with ME. What will she say? What will she think? Will she be pissed at the road I've taken her down? Will she be disappointed? - or will she give me a hug and say, "It's gonna be alright."
Lots of times, most times, we'll do anything we can to get away from "Me." We'll put up a wall made out of drugs, drink, food, or even work. Suddenly, we find ourselves booted from our homes, in rehab, at Fat Camp, or stuck amidst a sea of white button-down shirts laughing at the same old dirty jokes.
Who is this "Me" we run from? And why? What is it that we don't want to know? Well, I intend to find out. Stay tuned!
Countless people and stories, old and new, have always mentioned in one way, shape, form, or another, the phrase "keeping up the fight."
Famed television and radio personality, Dr. Drew, wrote on Twitter today, "Hiding out with Susan and kids away through the holiday, exhausted. Wondering if I can keep up the fight. No good deed goes unpunished."
I could feel his exhaustion. I wrote back, "...Push on through Dr. Drew. You do make an impact. Just look around."
Young or old, rich or poor, have or have-nots, we are all... in The Fight.
What is this "fight" and what does it mean to us? I believe The Fight is our timeless struggle to not let this mortal coil beat us down. The Fight is to wake up each day and say, no matter what happens, I am going to keep my eye on the finish line and make this day what I want it to be - despite the world. The Fight is to navigate through the maelstroms and tests of everyday life and people with our love of self, integrity, and spirit intact. The Fight is to make it through the day so that we can go home and look in our beloved's eyes once more.
Today, the actress Brittany Murphy died at the promising age of 32 from cardiac arrest. My condolences go out to her family and friends. May she rest in peace.
